So here we are with sequel to the Christmas blog 'The Silent Negotiator'
Following on from December's tale of the unxpected. I was working with a slightly unhinged and very posh client called Felicity and her sidekick Amelia?
This entire project was beset by Felicity's doubts about Amelia's ability to do the job properly. Amelia and I had our first one to one call when the job had been underway for a couple of weeks.
Amelia: Do you like dogs? I have three.
Me: Oh well I’m not sure we’ll be meeting each other so that’s ok but yes I do like dogs.
Amelia: I don’t like Felicity
Me: I’m having difficulty warming to her myself
So with that conversation Amelia and I are now pals.
Amelia: Ok so do you have the first recording?
ME: Yes Amelia, I have the first 50 recordings. You downloaded them.
Amelia: Oh I’m sorry – could you send again, I’ve lost 'em
Amelia : Thanks sorry I won’t lose ‘em again.
I send them again. Felicity calls.
Felicity: Did Amelia ask you to re-send recordings
Me: Yes she didn’t get ‘some’ is that a problem?
Felicity: She needs to be more careful. Let me know if it happens again.
Amelia: Did you do recording number 44?
Me: Yes I sent it with the other 50 yesterday.
Amelia: I’m sorry can you resend it?
Felicity: Did Amelia ask you to send recording number 44
Amelia: She is not a nice lady she is calling me all the time even when I’m bathing my son!
Me: Awwwww.. How old is your son?
Amelia: He’s 15 but he fell off my horse yesterday so he can’t bath himself.
Felicity: Keep me in the loop. Don’t keep anyone else particularly Amelia in the loop.
Next day disaster strikes. I have laryngitis
I email Felicity to let her know.
I get a shouting, highlighted in red email back.
BUT YOU SAID YOU COULD HAVE EVERYTHING DELIVERED WITHIN 24 HOURS!!
Well strangely enough I didn’t plan it Felicity.
CAN’T YOU MASK IT? DON’T YOU HAVE YOUR VOICE INSURED? LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT
Amelia: Felicity is horrible to me
Felicity: I NEED THOSE FILES NOW!! YOU HAVE THREE DAYS TO RECOVER!
Amelia Do you have recording number 33?
Me: Yes it’s with 1-50
Amelia: What’s it called?
Me: slide 33
I drag myself away from Loose Women, find it, resend it
Felicity: Did Amelia ask you to resend a file?
Don’t bother to reply, I’m too ill and feel a bit sorry for Amelia!
Felicity: OK! TIMES UP BACK TO WORK!
Suit yourself. Send her file of me coughing a spluttering
Felicity: That s fine do the rest.
Amelia: Angela. I can hear you breathing on these
recordings and do you have file 63?
Oh my actual God! This is a virtual madhouse!!
Felicity: Did Amelia mess up again?
Me: I’ve sent the file
Felicity: You’re not answering the question!
Me: I’m actually being interrogated!
Amelia: Felicity’s pretty nasty– I’ve told her boss
Finally, last Friday. End of project thank God! Off to the Scottish Social on Sunday having a lovely glass or seven with my v/o friends.
Do you have file number one? I can’t find it and Felicity’s being horrible to me.