The Best Worst Man

I was once asked by a very close friend to be the ‘best man’ representative at his wedding.

I was both delighted and terrified.

Which is why I was so surprised to receive this invitation from an online agent (a bit like Indeed for voice actors). It starts by telling me that I have been deemed a ‘good match’ for this job.
The client needs voice over for the film he has made to show at the wedding where he is best man. He is looking for someone who can perform with gravitas akin to Anthony Hopkins or Ian McKellen with a feel of Dylan Thomas.….Yes I can see where they are coming from asking me to audition. The script goes like this:

Dear Chloe, we should compare you to a stick. A dirty old stick, fallen from a tree. Thick and gnarled. Solid and straight. Lying on the ground. If we were to say this stick was you, you should be flattered. For like a weary traveller facing the mountain, Jamie selected you. Recognising your strength at first sight, he knelt to pick you up from the forest floor. He chose you as the companion that would bear him on what he knew would be his hardest journey. The stick that would support him as he found his footing, and that would steady him when he stumbled. Taking you in his hand he felt stronger. And you bore him to the mountain top, where you both now stand above the cloud in sunlight. That he selected you from all the forest to be the staff that would deliver him, is testament to the strength of your character, and love. You must truly be made of the most sturdy Welsh Oak. ...