Following a catalogue of disasters where I truly believed I had invested every penny I had and was able to borrow.
... The Bothy? My kids tell me I’m up my own arse and there’s a restaurant in Perth called the Bothy. I tell them mine looks more like and is a similar size and in a far more likely location that that ‘Bothy’. Stumbling block number one comes when me, Pete and Dave (the builder) realise that the soundproofing is not going to work, birds tweeting, the odd rumble of a lorry, the shaking of a train and next door’s lawnmower. Lots of ideas bandied around, not all within the confines of the law, in the end I decide an extra 500 quid and another layer of specialist soundproofing. Pete takes the huff.
When all is done ……wait…. wait…….brooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmm here’s next door but one and their lawn needs mowing, no consideration. Back to the drawing board – in must be the double-glazed window it needs more glass! Can they come and quadruple glaze it?
Pete takes the huff and goes inside to watch re-runs of Desperate Housewives.
Dave shakes his head. How are planning on breathing? Good point but that road is yet to be crossed. Ok we’ll Get the Doctor in …. from Manchester.
Dr Rob comes from Manchester, he has a black bag and I look at him hopefully as he puts a stethoscope to the wall. He sucks his teeth, shakes his head.
I’m going to have to rent it out to hikers, aren’t I?
No no. Here’s what to do.
He goes in and performs an operation. Comes out with a prescription. By the time the doctor leaves it all sounds much better. Back to Amazon and Studios R Us. Pete takes the huff and goes off to mow the lawn.
Very miserable window fitting man arrives and grumpily fits the widow then leaves taking his cloud of doom with him.
Amazon man arrives with the prescribed meds. Next door takes the huff because they keep delivering the parcels to him when he’s having a snooze
Enormous great spongey bass traps get glued to the corners.
Go in to try again. Come back out.
Pete! Pete! Peeeeeeeete!!!!
Can you mow the lawn later?
Pete takes the huff
Amazon man arrives. Great, this must be the final bit of medication the doctor prescribed! Try to get next door before he knocks…too late. Now next door is in the huff, Pete’s in the huff, Dave’s taken to the hills, the only people left taking this seriously are me and Dr Rob (from afar).
Oh, it’s not the meds, it’s the Travis album on vinyl I ordered (thought it was apt with all the bad moods). Think I’ll just wait here in the driveway with the lorries and the trains until the Amazon man arrives. He finally arrives on Monday and I fit the final piece together. I send the sample to Dr Rob who confirms this is doing the job. I send the sample to a studio I’m working with who confirm that I may continue in my new studio! The Bothy is done……apart from the green roof. Next week.