Accent on deadlines!

Have you ever had that classic stress dream of being naked in a public place?
Have you ever had that classic stress dream of being naked in a public place? Yesterday, I was up against a very tight deadline to get a series of audio- books finished. So I was getting to the end of a book and mighty relieved because it’s nearly 3 in the afternoon and I’d started at seven and not had a chance to get dressed yet. Suddenly a Polish priest appears. Not at my door but in the final chapter of the last book.
Polish ,Polish, Polish, how do you do Polish?
The more impatient I got the more the Polish priest sounded like he was from the Outer Hebrides. I took a deep breath and then there was a knock on the door (in real life not in the book), the dog was barking like a nutter and my every nerve was on edge. I swore very loudly (Sorry Father) banged the door of the booth open and charged out to the door, someone had left their shoes in the hall and so I stubbed my toe on the way. I answered the door and there was a young girl wearing a Scottish Society for the Protection of Cruelty to Goldfish t-shirt (or something, I didn’t look properly because her face paint was distracting me) and carrying a clipboard.
Anyway before she had a chance to speak I said.
‘I’m really sorry, I don’t have time, I’m actually in a meeting’
She looks me up and down. Pyjamas, no make-up, hair like Ken Dodd. She smiles like she’s talking to someone with other issues and shouts…
Ok I’ll come back!
Then she's off like a shot. I’m standing there thinking....... what was that accent?.... Oh my God Polish!
I go after her on the gravel in bare feet.
Come back soon! I’ll be finished in ten minutes!
She didn’t come back.