We are a company in France – we are very grumpy but we like your voice and so we would like to use you to
I am back following a family drama!...
Day one of drama.
We are a company in France – we are very grumpy but we like your voice and so we would like to use you to record a nice advertisement. Here is the French version you must record the English version with your English accent.
So just to avoid confusion and to be fair. I wrote back and told them my accent was actually Scottish.
Claudette (not her real name): It does not matter this thing. We want for your voice to record. When can you do this to be complete?
Me: Well I can make a start today and then have it back to you for edits later.
Claudette: Can you do this by lunchtime?
Me: My time?
Claudette: Your time
Me: ok. That's in two hours.
Claudette: We need calm and poetics and you must match the French male narrator in the audio I sent to you.
Me : What audio? I haven't got it.
Claudette: Ok we do not have this film. But we have the audio. Please match it to the film I sent.
Me: It's got no audio.
Claudette: Please can you have this back with a lot of urgency.
Cue music for Holby City. A member of the family I am in sole charge of is in sudden need of urgent medical attention! So it's OK. Right, so you have to put your family before your work or you'll end up being visited by three ghosts at Christmas who will tell you what an evil character you are and how the world would have been a better place without you.
Right, the ambulance is on the way. How to remain calm and and poetic? Ah! I know get in touch with France and tell them that there has been an emergency and I need more time.
Hi Claudette (Not real name): Having a bit of a family emergency here. What is your absolute deadline?
Claudette: Today at 1pm. No later.
Ok. Pretty positive she needs this pronto. So family hero arrives home to do the minding but he's working for Father Christmas ( I swear it's true) and only has an hour tops. Patient is comfy, in bed and apparently this is not a priority for the ambulance.
WHAT? I am an ACTOR! The show MUST go on! I have to be calm and poeticalllllllll!!!
'Calm down and go and do your work' says family hero.
So back to the booth. Calm and poetical. Off we go...Excellent, sounded calm and poetic to me.
Me: Here you go Claudette. Is that OK?
Claudette: Thanks you Angela. I am sorry for your emergency and hope you can now make this a priority..
Claudette: Happy Thanksgiving
One hour later in the hospital waiting room. Ping!
Claudette: I like this and the client does not think it is calm and poetical and energetic and excited enough. Please do me another post haste.
Ok so now we need a strange combination of calm and poetic and energetic and excited but I'm prioritising now, like she said
Claudette: Please watch the film and listen to the audio.
Me: What audio? Please send me the film with the audio
Claudette: Use the film I send
Me: Pardon my French its not great but we're struggling here: S'il vous plaît envoyer du poisson dans la confiture
Claudette: Why do you want a fish in the jam? I don't know what you mean here is the appropriate and usable video.
Me: We're cooking.
So French actor on this sounds pretty dour to me but who am I to judge. More emotion, rush home, here we go.
Claudette: Thanks you so much, you are perfect. Please send an invoice so payment is possible.
So now I can take a week off voicing as I am now the nurse in charge and the patient is convalescing. Two days later with Euros in my bank account. Ping!
Claudette: It has been lovely to work for you and now that we were happy, the intermediate client is happy but the end client is not thinking the emotion has the same deepness as the French. End client wishes more emotion even than the last time. Here is the video. It has a sound which I think was a problem. Please let us know if a price is attached. Happy Christmas to you if you celebrate this.
Claudette you're a lovely person clearly and your English is so much better that my French but I never want to work for your client again!