The Art of Keeping One's Big Mouth Shut

So the art of keeping one's big mouth shut especially when you're being paid to keep talking.....

It can be confusing,even more so if you develop verbal vomit when you're nervous. Last week, I was nervous when I discovered upon arrival at a Glasgow studio, that a very well known actor was working in the same studio as me. I didn't know what he was doing but assumed he was there to perform the complete works of Shakespeare. I was very excited to meet him and spent quite a lot of time bowing and scraping and just stopping myself from asking for his autograph. I got myself under control and thought how nice it was that he was interested in the job I was about to do with another male actor who appeared to be late tsk tsk.

I assumed Sir Knighted Actor was on a break from his job as he seemed to be consuming an inordinate amount of pre-voiceover contraband (coffee) and there were a distinct lack of facial stretches from him whilst I was busy doing my impersonation of a bulldog chewing a wasp and hollering my voice exercises before I spouted my four lines.

Director: Shall we get you in first Angela?

Me: Oh..... ok are we not waiting for the other actor?

Client: Have you seen the script?

Me: Em..yes

Director: There are only two of you

Sir Actor: (laughs and in a voice dripping with a god-like tenor) You go Firrrrst m'dearrrr, warm up the mic. I'll finish my coffee.

Me: Oh riiiiight. God what an idiot, I thought...never mind.

So in I go for the my time honoured lengthy directing

Director: Up at the end, down in the middle.....

Engineer: Cut off 4 seconds

Director: Get rid of a breath.... do it without breathing....... a bit louder, a bit softer. Ok that's it - out you come.

Me: Thank God for that, I always take ages don't I?!

No response

Director: Ok Sir Knight in you go, if you wouldn't mind yes sorry about the wait, just adjust the mic, lovely. Ok.

He records his lines in his big sexy bear voice.

Director: Ok and one more for luck. Excellent thanks for that out you come.

Client: He doesn't need direction, he clearly knows what he's doing.

I was about to storm off in a Joan Collins Diva huff when...

Engineer: Oh I saw your website and read your blog, it's really good

Maidenly blush bepaints my cheek

Me: Aw thanks

Director: Oh ha ha, make sure you don't talk about us next time, we'll recognise ourselves....

Me: Oh...hahaha..I won't ha ha ha...bye..