So, still squeezing my V/Os into the time I have left over from the hours spent educating the yoof of our great nation -

Thank God for me or they'd be clueless and struggling through life with absolutely no idea why Oscar Wilde is funny or why Shakespeare's text is at times slashed to shreds! I mean why say;

'Shut the bloody door, it's freezing!'?

When you can say;

'The door that thou hast left ajar on this cold stormy eve as the sun disappears on the highmost hill of this day's journey is making a slight and gentle wind which blows upon the wanton woman's bosom and disturbs the babe that does suckle there.'

Anyway, there is a point to this. So, one of the small children I teach says to me this week;

'Ms Ness, I heard you on the television last night', confused because the only TV ad I have on at the moment where my voice is remotely recognisable is for well know Scottish firm of solicitors.

' Did you Penelope?' (it's a posh school most of the gals are called Penelope, if not they are called Mercedes)

' But it's on STV....during Coronation Street and Emmerdale! Surely Mummy has switched from the shopping channel and The Only way Is Chelsea?! '

'Oh no' says Penelope, 'it was Daddy, he loves Emmerdahl and when I said it was my drama teacher he said, golly she sounds lovely and what does she look like?'...

'Oh' says I, 'What did you say Penelope?' Hoping she thinks I'm as lovely as I think she thinks I am.

'I said you were a little bit old and a little bit not and and you're a little bit fat.....and a little bit not and smiley except when you are angry'.

Great thanks Penelope...'should I practise my lines Ms Ness?'.

'..Just get on with your work before I eat you!'

#greatfaceforradio

BIG job this week is for Virgin trains, they want 'a touch of humour with splashes of light authority!' let's hope my sense of fun returns or that Penelope is getting it!